How To Have A Positive Parent-Child Relationship (Even When You Feel It’s the Biggest Challenge)

Parenting. Is there a right or wrong way to do it?  Billions throughout the world are parents. Regardless,  all parents have different mindsets on how to do their job. The parent-child relationship is a delicate, yet powerfully significant entity in life.

Clearly, making it a positive force is a challenge. Nonetheless, it’s something that is definitely attainable.

Notably, there are many social and psychological reports. They include explaining the impact of family demographics. Next, these include cultural and economic influences.  Additionally, there are plenty of written guidelines, all which aim to help to produce the “model child.”

Get Your Parent-Child Relationship Philosophy Straight

Realistically, there will be dramas.  And yes, children will answer back. Kids will also be non-compliant. So, how do parents stay grounded and consistent when faced with tough challenges? 

Ask yourself this question:  What makes the closest to an ideal parent?

All the while, parenting is accomplished in many different ways, yet, the answers are roughly the same:

  • Unconditional love
  • A positive role model
  • Advisor
  • Teaching children to be independent

Where Things Can Go Awry

In today’s society, a majority of parents forget the foundations. Ironically, many adults veer off this well-laid path by complicating the way they parent. Unfortunately, things like this may happen:

  • Reduced supervision in the home environment
  • Helicopter parents who hover over the child and rescue them from negative situations
  • Drill sergeant parents who shout instructions and control

Even With the Best Intentions…

Most parents come from the good place of love. Oftentimes, however, their personal traits and insecurities dictate how these influence their child’s behavior.  So then, how does one ensure a positive parent-child relationship while not letting personal issues affect on the optimism of the relationship?

Here are a couple of suggestions to boost the parent-child relationship:

  • Let the child fail. As frightening as this statement sounds, through failure, the child will learn. For example, guide and advise, but do not control.  Sometimes, children need to be able to make their own decisions. This is a skill imperative to their future.  In addition, this will help your relationship and fortify independence.

  • An example of this is homework. Helping (or doing)  the questions, or constantly reminding them to complete the task, may not be helpful. Finally, it may result in them not suffering a natural consequence. Overall, nothing here will be learned by the child. Not academics. Not consequences.

 

  • Quality time. Switch off the phones, TV, computers, and sit down to talk.  Dinner time is perfect. Obviously it’s not always possible because of activities and jobs.  Most importantly, then, carve out at least 15 minutes a day to have worthy conversation.  It doesn’t have to be about the meaning of life.  But, it could be as simple as asking how the day went. Or, it could even be sharing a joke.  All of these conversations open up lines of communication.  Children need reassurance that parents are always there to talk to. No matter how hectic life can get.

Have Rules and Set Boundaries

Starting from infancy, the parents set the rules. “Don’t touch that, it’s too hot.” “Don’t hit your brother!” “Don’t draw on the walls,” etc.  The list is endless. However, actions following broken rules have a huge validity on the parent-child relationship.

What set of consequences are in place? And, are they adhered to?  If there is threat of action due to a broken rule, correction must follow.  If not, children feel they can break rules again. Unfortunately, this can also lead to insecurities due to lack of boundaries.

Structure as a Necessity

Noteworthy, humans need structure and rules to flourish and feel secure. Numerous studies have shown this to be true. Structure can make interactions with children concrete.  Success in rule-making for the parent-child relationship follows these simple steps:

  • Set simple rules everyone understands.
  • Be consistent and don’t back down.
  • Don’t feel guilty. Most importantly, these rules are in place to ensure children’s safety.
  • Teach respect, and in turn, empathy.

Society as a Factor

Modern day society can be considered complex. For one, it may have us clambering to the top of a competitive pile. Also, it can be considered egocentric. “Shoot your neighbor, get out of my way, I’m first.”

In order to raise children as non-narcissistic little monsters, efforts may be better focused on education and character.

A Harvard study of 10,000 middle- and high-school students found that four out-of-five kids perceived that their parents valued achievement more than caring for others. That’s pretty sad.

Whether the students’ perception were accurate or not, the information is devastating. In the best of all worlds, parents should lead by example. We need to show compassion for others through our words and actions.

With communication, empathy, logic, rules and consistency, parents have the tools to raise their kids.  The child-rearing road may be full of potholes.  But, with a strong foundation, a good relationship will form and hopefully have longevity.  To read more about parent/child relationships, please check out www.GetThrive.com

 

Sources:

https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/parenting-resources-raising-caring-ethical-children/cultivating-empathy

http://iahip.org/inside-out/issue-24-spring-1996/winnicott-and-parentinghttps://www.loveandlogic.com/about/bios/foster-cline

 

Meditation Can Enhance Your Professional Life

There is no arguing that meditation practice garners positive effects. Most people are happy to express how their personal life and health have benefitted. But what many don’t know is that meditation can actually enhance your professional life as well!

 

Meditation Actualization

There isn’t an exact figure on how many people across the globe meditate. A consensus revealed that more than 18 million American adults practiced (that was back in 2012.) Today, certainly more people in the U.S. have considered meditation, especially since the National Institutes of Health suggests that stress affects over 75 million people each day.

Some experts estimate, considering countries that subscribe to Eastern traditional practices, there may be over 250 million people in the world who participate in daily meditation.

 

Your Life on Meditation

It’s no secret that the practice of meditation can benefit your life in many different ways and areas. And that’s not to say that you have to meditate everyday, or for a particular period of time each time. Proof of its advantages has been experienced by those who meditate 10-20 minutes every few days or so. (Additionally, those who practice longer each session, more frequently, and for many, many years reap even more benefits.)

Here are the most recognized results of even a casual meditation program:

 

  • Stress reduction
  • Improved sleep patterns
  • Boosted immune system
  • Increased patience and empathy
  • Clearer thinking
  • Better decision-making ability
  • Boosted creativity

 

A Professional-Life Enhancement

If your job and career matter to you, it makes sense that you want to perform at your peak. There are several key factors, which can enhance your productivity in the workplace (even if you work from home.) These aspects are important for professional success and can be made easier through the practice of meditation.

 

1) Fewer sick days. Meditating helps boost your immune system because it reduces stress. Studies have shown a decrease in the amygdala from meditation practice. (The amygdala is the fight or flight part of the brain.)

Change in that section of the brain is linked to a reduction in stress levels. Stress can create headaches, inflammation throughout the body, changes in gut microbiota, and fatigue. Reduction of the effects will keep you healthier and working more days, productively.

 

2) Better relationships with co-workers. A study out of Harvard University explained that those who meditated showed a thickening (a growth) in particular parts of the brain. One of them was the temporo parietal junction—an area associated with empathy and compassion. Trust and collaboration are essential for successful working relationships. It appears that meditation can help our people skills.

 

3) Improved decision-making. Another area of the brain that recharges from meditation is the left hippocampus. Emotional regulation is guided in that center of the brain, which can help us to make choices made from experience and cognition rather than just emotion. Learning ability is also boosted, which can help with future decision-making as well.

 

4) Creativity is boosted. Meditation allows the brain to rest—to switch off—but then switch back on again. Once it’s invigorated, it has the ability to think more freely. Without constriction, creativity is invited to flow. Improvement in attention to detail is another bonus.

 

5) Working memory is enhanced. In the same Harvard study as mentioned previously, it was found that those who meditated had more grey matter in the frontal cortex of the brain. That area is associated with memory and cognition and can help you to be on the ball in a moment’s notice.

 

Meditation as a Part of Your Life

Again, there is no formula or specific amount of meditation time required to reap its benefits. Different teachers, studies, or pundits may suggest various practices, but, truly, it is a personal endeavor. However, now understanding that meditating can enhance your professional life, you may be more inclined to offer it more attention.

Regardless, meditation can be practiced anywhere, anytime, and for any length. If you desire to participate, whatever time you have or you make will be advantageous to your personal and professional life. Best of wishes in your endeavor to improve your physical, mental, and emotional health!

 

 

 

 

Sources:

 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2015/05/26/harvard-neuroscientist-meditation-not-only-reduces-stress-it-literally-changes-your-brain/?utm_term=.5f8d5a26d72c

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/you-illuminated/201204/brain-scans-show-how-meditation-improves-mental-focus

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/6763007

https://www.mdanderson.org/publications/focused-on-health/december-2014/how-stress-affects-cancer-risk.html.html

https://www.forbes.com/sites/ashleystahl/2017/09/22/five-reasons-why-meditation-will-improve-your-career/#c1346662189b

https://nccih.nih.gov/research/statistics/NHIS/2012/mind-body/meditation

 

7 Helpful Tools to Tune Up Your Relationship

Over time, even the strongest marriages and relationships need work. Whether your relationship needs a tune up or a major overhaul, couples can do a number of things and use various tools to get their marriage or partnership back on track. And one of the best ways to do this is by changing your behavior towards your spouse or partner…

1. Couples Counseling

– Couples in any relationship, partnership or marriage that starts to show the beginning signs of failure will often turn to couples counseling for help. While counseling isn’t for every couple out there, it could be a great place to start and to learn things about one another that you may have never known!

In addition to teaching you how to better understand each other, effective couples’ therapy can help you gain a more useful understanding of yourself, too.

By using the skills you learn during your sessions and applying them inward, you can break negative repetitive patterns in your own behavior. Couples counseling can also make you more receptive to constructive criticism, which is critical for responding positively to your partner’s critiques of your actions.

2. Get the Most Out of Each Other

Many couples fall into the trap of focusing on the immediate problem that is plaguing their marriage or relationship at any given time. Most committed partners have numerous responsibilities that create everyday stress—and dealing with that stress day in and day out and can take its toll on couples, which often leads to a lack of communication, disconnection, and even resentment.

For example, couples argue about a host of common problems, such as finances, children, and work. By focusing on narrow issues, couples never really learn how to cope with the broader issues that are harming their marriage.

It is easy to get bogged down by the daily grind of everyday life. Committed couples can avoid this pitfall by creating big goals and sticking to them. For example, spouses can collectively decide that their therapy goal is to learn to be more loving, more generous partners.

This attitude allows them to keep the bigger picture in mind so they do not get lost in the details of life’s daily stressors.

Also Read : The Secret to a Happy Marriage that Will Shock You

3. Tools to Bring Back the Tick

Statistics suggest between 40 and 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Fortunately, there are a number of tools both spouses can use to combat these numbers. Check out this site here to read more about divorce statistics…

4. Have a Positive Attitude

As with most things in life, attitude has a tremendous impact on how an individual perceives a task or problem. If you maintain a positive attitude with your partner—even though deep down inside you might feel hurt, anger or resentment—you will likely find that talking through these issues in a positive manner might save you.

5. Do Not Be Afraid to Share

Although you might feel reluctant to talk about yourself, use the time you have to talk to your partner about your thoughts and feelings.

6. Focus on Self-Improvement

It is human nature to find fault in other people. Rarely, however, do individuals search inside themselves for the source of the conflict they are experiencing. It might be easy to blame the other person for the majority of your problems, but this is almost always an inaccurate representation of your living situation.

7. Avoid Denial

Most people seek couples counseling because their relationship is less than ideal. Interestingly, many individuals either downplay their marriage problems or deny them altogether. Acknowledge your marriage and relationship problems as real issues that demand immediate attention.

Fortunately, there are comparatively few relationship problems that couples simply cannot overcome—other than infidelity and abuse, of course. According to psychotherapist Micki McWade, infidelity and spousal abuse are two big issues that routinely break up marriages. Check out this article by the Huffington Post here.

However, with two equally engaged partners determined to make their relationships or marriages work, it is possible to save even the rockiest union, and to put that special tick back in a relationship.